Though the winds howl and rage outside
And the lightning frightens me
I’m safe with You inside.
In Your strong fortress, I will be.
In Your castle, the walls are strong
And thick too.
In here I belong with You
You will never leave me.
For these walls are impenetrable
No harm can come to me.
While I still reside here with You.
You wrap me in Your arms
And keep me safe
And I will stay with You forever and ever,
My father.
What’ s with you?
Why do you seem to hate me so much?
Am I annoying you?
What have I done?
When we’re with others you’re all smiles.
When it’s jut me you’re moody.
I’m not flirting, I want to be friends.
Why do you seem to hate me so much?
I thought you were warm like the Sun
But you’re cold, like the ice coming our way.
What can I do to let you know I care,
Without seeming soppy?
Because I do care,
I want you to be my friend, what’s stopping us?
I promise you it’ll be nothing more.
Why are you so withdrawn,
why are you friends with my friends, but not me?
I don’t understand you, I really don’t…
And I don’t think I ever will.
What’s with you?
Why do you hate me?
Did I hurt you?
What have I done?
This seems wrong
I’m not supposed to be here
I’m not supposed to be with you
Of all people you could have chosen
It’s me you want.
But I don’t want you
I’m not sure I want to do this
What you’re suggesting
I don’t think I trust you
I don’t like you that way.
This idea is wrong
This whole thing is wrong
You are wrong.
I didn’t choose you
I don’t want you.
I don’t want you
I definately don’t want to do
What you’re suggesting
I know I don’t trust you
I don’t like you at all.
Leave me alone
I’m not the one for you
I don’t want to hurt your feelings
But what we’re doing is wrong
Promise you won’t want me at all.
I don’t want to say afterwards:
‘I didn’t want you
I didn’t want to
But I did what you suggested
I didn’t trust you
I didn’t like you at all.’
I’m not giving myself to you
I don’t trust
I don’t like you
I don’t want you
I don’t want to do
what you’re suggesting
I don’t trust you at all
I don’t like you at all
This is wrong.
I don’t want you
It’s wrong.
Put you hand on your heart,
they say in cartoons on the big screen.
I do. I put my hand over my heart,
which still beats.
Hear the thud thud thud
Of the blood, pushing through
arteries, veins, valves, cells.
But what happens
if, for whatever reason,
one day, it stops?
Will an ambulance, white and wailing
flashing blue and red
deliver you to your hospital bed?
Will loved ones crowd around, you,
tubes snaking everywhere,
hoping, praying, waiting?
Will that person you thought was
‘the one’,
will they still be there
by your side
holding your cold limp hand?
What if.
What if it’s too late.
They’ve gone.
Your time of death
Casually said.
What if there’s more to life,
More than meets the eye,
In the street of life we walk on by?
Do you feel what I feel:
the wind in my hair
Icy cold in my face
Eyes watering
Fixed on a hill
A city, shining?
That is my goal,
what I and many others focus on.
But what lies ahead for you,
You who are blind,
Cannot hear what He is saying?
Only darkness awaits you,
Only an everlasting, morbid, fiery, evil
excruciating
Hell. Where Lucifer is imprisoned
and has never thrown a party,
no plastic tridents and horns.
I long for the day
when I can embrace
My heavenly Father
And be made perfect.
What a day,
But I can’t imagine those who
don’t know Him, who despise and reject –
How can I live with myself
When I will see them burn,
Because I feared they’d spurn
The Gospel that I long to share.
But hold back, not ‘cos I don’t care.
I forget the one who truly loves me
And push Him out the way.
Who is always out of their comfort zone
And always raring for action?
Opportunities slip by,
I grow lukewarm
And fade to grey.
I’ve got a Bible in my bag
To keep my mind at ease.
Surely if it’s with me
I’ll be able to whip it out
Not Biblebash, obviously,
But prove a point
Prove to the world
You are my everything.
I can’t stand it
when they
scoff, at what was
so dear, I hate
myself for feeling
ashamed and holding
back. What stops me?
You took the shackles off my feet,
Not only so I could dance
But be the bringer of Good News.
I’ve got a Bible in my bag:
it barely sees the light of day.
What of my dreams,
The ones forgotten and remembered?
Should I take notice,
Or let them fly away?
Maybe one might come true.
My father, half-brother, patient.
I bathe his gouged-out eyes
and wrap bandages around his guilty head.
From the same womb, we both came,
Same mother. Undone.
Unravelled.
Our clan doomed,
enveloped in shame.
Blood on my father and brother’s hand.
Abandoned.
Someone needs to take care of him.
Thank You for taking away my desire,
my flame, my thoughts gone to waste.
They had almost swallowed me.
I gained nothing but they had
nearly all of me.
My Mr Right is nowhere to be seen,
but I’m not ready for him,
yet. I have a while to wait
But he’ll be worth it.
I’m waiting for someone seeking me,
who’s man enough
to love Jesus more than he loves me.
Rooted in Your wood, a true follower
To spur me on. Not pull me down
And away from You. That would never do.
I get easily distracted, every day.
But only You can keep my eyes on the prize
And give me strength to run this race.
O Lord, I haven’t found ‘the One’
Amongst all the guys I know.
O Lord, I know Your will be done
But how can this be so?
O Lord, I know Your love will satisfy,
fill the ‘God-space’ inside,
But I often believe the world’s lie
That in You I don’ t need to confide.
When I do, I really do
Need You, Lord, more than anyone
Else, other lovers who crowd my heart.
O Lord, help me trust in You
No matter what’s thrown at me,
‘Cos I know in everything I do
Inside and beside me You’ll always be.
